Delilah’s Testimonial
“Grief changes shape, but it never ends.” What does this mean? Grief is a lifelong journey that evolves, but never ends.
As a master’s level social worker for fourteen years, I have been there for others supporting them through their grief journey by active listening, walking them through the seven stages of grief that includes shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing and acceptance, as well as offering words of encouragement for the loss of their loved one. It wasn’t until grief came to my front door from the loss of my mother four years ago that I got to feel it in a way as I had never felt sorrow in my life. Here I had been encouraging others and providing support for something I had never experienced in its magnitude until that point. I was not ready, nor did I expect to experience grief in the way that it hit me. When I say it took my breath away, I mean just that; it took my breath away. I was on the phone with my niece while my mother lay in a hospital bed and took her last breath. My niece had me on speaker phone and I went silent. Within seconds, the nurse pronounced my mother deceased. At that moment, I can remember feeling emotionally numb, and I felt dissociated from my body, physically like my soul had left my body. Then, I began to gasp for air. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. This went on for about 30 seconds before I could finally breathe without gasping for air, and I eventually just sat there crying. It was at that moment that my grief journey began.
Completing the Peer Grief Support Group Facilitation Training was one of the best life-changing decisions I could have ever made. Not only did I receive essential skills to lead grief groups effectively, but it also provided me a safe and supportive environment surrounded by others who had experienced some form of grief just as I had. It wasn’t until I participated in the training that I realized my grief journey does not end with grief counseling, peer grief support meetings, and even over time, but grief once experienced as a result of the loss of a loved one is a lifelong journey that evolves, but never ends. I remember hearing people say, “It will get better over time.” Grief does get better over time, but the part that is not said is that it will never end. There might be a significant date, such as a birthday, anniversary, or other special occasions, that reminds you of your loved one and causes a very emotional moment. Grief is a lifelong journey that requires lifelong support.
For me personally, listening to the stories and grief journey of my peers fostered feelings in me of belonging, support, and deeper connections. I knew that those in the peer grief circle understood my grief journey. This safe space helped me to feel comfortable and vulnerable to share my story and to express how I’ve coped with grief. Once you experience grief from the loss of a loved one, you begin to reevaluate priorities and values in your life. My number one transformative moment throughout my grief journey has been my spirituality. In the beginning of my grief journey, I spent more time praying, reading my bible, and volunteering at my church every opportunity I had rather than to fold and be buried in sorrow, crying every day. Relying heavily on my spirituality has helped me get through this journey.
If you are interested in facilitating peer grief support groups, or maybe you just want to be surrounded by others who are on the grief journey with you, I highly recommend participating in peer grief support group facilitation training. The experience will help you better understand grief, provide a safe space and environment, and provide a network of peers sharing their experiences, challenges, and practical tools they have used to cope with grief. It is a life-changing experience.
